Curate Your Social Media Feed: 10 Instagram Accounts to Support Your Motherhood Journey
Takeaway: There are serious upsides to social media use for moms, but only when the social media accounts you follow aren’t making your mom stress & anxiety worse. Learning to “curate your feed” allows you to enjoy the good parts of social media, add to your mom community & support your mental health as you go through fertility challenges, pregnancy, and became a new (or new again!) mom. In this post, Dr. Julie shares her list of the 10 accounts every pregnant woman or mom needs to follow.
If I’m being honest, social media is where I spent hours of my time as a new mom. It was convenient. It answered my questions. And it helped me feel like I was connected to other moms, even at 3:00 in the morning. I enjoyed the way social media gave me a sense of motherhood community, and I still do. That’s why I’m here in this space + active on Instagram. But social media isn’t always helpful for new moms - especially for moms who struggle with perfectionism and comparison, which are both hallmarks of postpartum anxiety.
Because giving up on social media isn’t a popular sentiment for new and aspiring mom, I recommend a 4-part strategy that allows you to curate your feed. This lets you enjoy the good parts of social media (update your loved ones with photos, getting your motherhood questions answered, and staying connected to your IRL friends) without the pitfalls such as increased anxiety, pressure to keep up with the other moms, or the risk of getting information that isn’t based in truth.
Social Media and Postpartum Mental Health
Social media use is so common with new mothers that researchers are becoming interested, and their findings are enforcing the reality that therapists have been preaching for years: social media can negatively impact maternal mental health. As a therapist who specializes in mom anxiety, I find that social media makes anxiety worse in many moms.
The Comparison Trap
On of the biggest risks to your emotional wellbeing comes from the tendency to compare yourself to the other moms you encounter on social media. This is especially true of moms who experience maternal or postpartum anxiety, because that experience tends to include the quest to become the perfect mom. It can be difficult to remember that you’re only seeing a snapshot of the other mom’s life - and that it’s the part of her life she wants you to see. And momfluencers who seem like ordinary mothers may have incredible resources (think a nanny, expendable income, sponsorships that provide toys or parenting items) that the everyday mom doesn’t have access to. The responsible mom influencers I’m going to share with you today are honest about these resources, but not all are. If you’re following women who are making you feel like you are less than or don’t have enough, it’s a red flag that they are using the comparison trap to catch your interest. My advice: unfollow those accounts immediately. Motherhood is hard enough; you don’t need to be watching the life or content of a mom influencer who makes you feel badly.
The Risk of Biased or Inaccurate Information
One of the reasons moms follow social media accounts is to gain important parenting knowledge in an instant. This was true for me as a new parent - I looked for information on everything from infant sleep and breastfeeding to product recommendations for my nursery, and I enjoyed the personal feel of getting recommendations from mom’s I got to know via their social accounts.
To avoid getting unsafe or unhealthy information, it’s important to make sure that the influencer who is teaching you about infant care, maternal health, and/or giving you parenting information is both qualified and honest about her biases. It’s okay to choose to follow someone who offers biased information; after all, everyone has her perspective. But it’s important to recognize that you’re choosing to exist within that space, and that you’re doing it on purpose. You also want to read up on the qualifications of the mom influencer you’re following and make sure that her recommendations or advice are within her training and expertise. I’ve done that for you with the list of 10 Instagram Accounts all pregnant and new moms can trust, which is listed below.
How to Curate Your Social Media Feed
The key to making sure your social media account offers accurate, helpful, and supportive parenting information that aligns with your values is to “curate your social media feed”. Some of the women I work with in my practice are surprised to hear that, in general, I don’t recommend unfollowing every single momfluencer or parenting-focused social media account. I also don’t recommend that you delete your accounts altogether. Why? I don’t think that is realistic or sustainable. From my perspective, it is a temporary fix that only lasts as long as you stay off of your account.
#1 - Make Sure Your Parenting Values Align
Instead of cancelling your social media across the board, I recommend that you curate your social media feed to reflect your values. This allows you to get the amazing benefits of social media (connection to other moms + access to the parenting education and knowledge you need) without the negative emotional toll of an unsafe account.
The first step here is to determine the values and parenting approaches that are most important to you. For example, you may be a mom who wants to embody attachment parenting. Or you may find that gentle parenting is important to you. Alternatively, you may have strong feelings about using a western medicine approach vs. relying on naturopathic options.
Every mom is different. Your values are your values, and they are okay.
#2 - Consider Your Mental Health Triggers + Needs
As a mental health therapist for moms, this is the part of the process that I focus on most with my clients. The question I ask is, “What topics are triggering for you right now?” or “What messages are you struggling with right now?”. Since this isn’t always easy to uncover, here are some common answers I hear from moms:
“I need to stay away from any account that talks about infertility right now. It’s too much of a reminder of my past + the idea that I may not be able to have another child in the future.”
“I don’t want to see anything that talks about ‘how easy’ sleep training is. It makes me feel like a failure because my child never sleeps through the night.”
“I’m struggling with being a single mom. I don’t like to watch the influencers who have a husband. It makes me worry that my child is already missing out.”
On the flip side, ask yourself, “what kinds of messages are supportive?” or “what kind of content do you look forward to?” For example,
“I enjoy following moms who are also breastfeeding overnight. It helps me to feel less alone.”
“I love watching the travel mom accounts. It’s fun to daydream about the future vacations I can take with my child.”
“I like the honest moms who admit that they are having mental health trouble, too. It helps me to know that I’m not alone.”
“Seeing the way this mom is dealing with food allergies helps me know that I can do it, too.”
#3 - Look at the Qualifications of the Mom Featured on the Social Media Account
Determining the qualifications of a social media influencer can be the most challenging part of curating your feed, especially when you’re new to motherhood or aren’t sure of the types of qualifications you’re looking for. Many moms think that you’re looking for an account with many followers, but that’s not always the case. Followers are not necessarily equated with the quality of the knowledge.
The key here is to make sure that the mom featured on the account has reputable training and/or personal experience in the topic she's focused on. I can use my own account as an example. My page, Nurturing the Sisterhood, offers support for overwhelmed moms. The account features my perspective. In terms of my training, I have my doctorate in clinical social work, I am a licensed clinical therapist, and I over 10 years of experience with supporting women, moms, and families in different therapy roles. I also have personal experience; I am a mom who lives with anxiety myself, I’ve been in therapy for much of my life, and I use many of the strategies I teach in my daily life. Those are all important qualifications that help you know that my perspective is grounded in research, training, and experience.
The tricky part of determining the qualifications of a social media influencer is that there are so many types of influencers in the motherhood space. They range from medical doctors educating us about fertility to mothers who are sharing from their own experience without any kind of professional certificate program or licensure. With so many different types of moms sharing, it is not easy to make sure their training is legit.
I recommend looking at the “about me” part of each influencer’s Instagram account or website to learn about her. This is the space where the influencer tends to share her education, training, and experience. You may want to do a few google searches to better understand her training. After that, it’s a judgment call on your part.
#4 - Does this Mom Influencer Pass the Test?
Once you’ve figured out your values, your triggers, and considered the parts of social media that fill your cup, you are ready to curate your feed. For me, this is an ongoing process. Whenever I am using my Instagram account, I am mindful of the way the messages I read & the stories I watch impact me.
When a message on social media doesn’t feel right to me, I pause and ask myself, “Is this account in-line with my values?”. If the answer is “no” or if it is an account that focuses on one of the topics that trigger me, I remove the account from my feed or unfollow. It’s that simple.
The Instagram Accounts that I Recommend For YOU:
I want you to know that I’ve thoughtfully curated this list of 10 mom-positive social media accounts for you. Every single one of these accounts is on Instagram, and most also have a website and/or podcast as well. The women on these accounts meet these standards:
Every mom influencer here is a mother who shares from her personal experience + training.
Every woman on this list is qualified. She has the training she needs to back up her perspective, and she is honest about her biases.
The mothers on this list share science-backed information from reputable sources.
The mom influencers who talk about parenting favor attachment-based and gentle parenting approaches that align with the best clinical knowledge I have as a therapist for moms.
These pages are respectful of the trauma we endure as mothers, and they give trigger warnings when sensitive content is shared. this is really important for me, personally.
None of these pages are about sales, even if they promote products. They are truly focused on education & support for moms.
I’ve been following all of these pages myself! And I recommend them because they’ve been so influential on my own parenting journey.
Please note that these social media accounts are shared in no specific order. They are equally wonderful!
#1 - Karrie Locher, RN, @karrie_locher
Karrie Locher of Karing for Postpartum is a postpartum nurse and lactation consultant with 5 kids of her own! Her son Teddy is nearly the same age as my son J, and I feel like we’ve raised our kids together. She’s super relatable & shares her daily activities as a mom of 5 with a focus on all the things postpartum moms need to know about: lactation, breastfeeding, well-vetted recommendations for baby & toddler products, and her retro mom style. Her nursing cart was the most essential thing I created for my breastfeeding journey, and I still use it as a diaper caddy!
#2 - Brittni Mella Cepeda, @Resting_In_Motherhood
Brittni is a certified infant sleep specialist who says NO to sleep training. For the last three years, I’ve gained confidence in my ability to avoid sleep training & with my journey as a breastfeeding mom as I’ve watched her experience with her daughter Liliah. I absolutely LOVE the way she challenges the dominate social narrative around baby/infant/toddler sleep with respect for parental attachment, natural infant sleep + parental needs & wishes. In 2023, she launched The Resting in Motherhood Podcast (you should listen!) and I was honored to be a guest and talk about mom anxiety with her in the first season!
#3- Michelle Charriere, @babiesandbrains
Michelle is a toddler mama who lives in Phoenix, AZ and shares her attachment-focused parenting journey with us. She’s an infant mental health specialist and my go-to girlie for all the things I need to know about my relationship with my toddler + my toddler’s behaviors. I first came across her page last year, and I now live for her science-based lessons on connecting with your child + her sassy reels that debunk colloquial, old-school parenting knowledge.
#4 - Dr. Julie Franks, @nurturingthesisterhood
Spoiler alert - this is me! How could I not? For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Julie. I’m a perinatal mental health therapist (or “therapist for moms”) in Washington State + a toddler mom. I am also the founder of Nurturing the Sisterhood, a support community that teaches moms to deal with the overwhelming status of motherhood. I challenge the dominant social narrative around being a mom and honor the reality that it’s different & harder than we expect it to be. I’m a mental health advocate and teach through my own story as a mom who experiences anxiety + share my experiences with fertility care, a high risk pregnancy, and birth trauma. I like to share my life as a mom who is working in the grey area and how I cope with being a food allergy mom. My goal is to foster a community of moms who honor the reality of mother, to provide helpful resources, and to share mental health tips for moms.
#5 - Dr. Mona Amin @pedsdoctalk
Dr. Mona is a pediatrician and IBLC who wears so many hats - she’s a mom to two littles, she is a practicing pediatrician, and she provides SO MUCH education on her social media accounts and on her podcast. I appreciate the way she shares her medical knowledge with compassion + takes a neutral, science-based stance on hot button issues like sleep training and napping. My own story as a birth trauma survivor resonates with her own + she’s my go-to resource when I have a general question about milestones, vaccinations, feeding, etc.
#6 - Molly Vasa Bertolucci - @poppy.therapy
Molly is a professional expert in birth trauma & the experience of being a NICU Mom + a NICU mom herself (so she gets it). She’s the founder of Poppy Therapy & supports postpartum moms as a maternal mental health therapist in Long Beach, CA. Her podcast is one of my favorites because it gives moms the chance to tell their story about the first year of motherhood. I love listening to the stories & finding ways to relate to the other moms.
#7 - Dr. Brita DeStafano - @progressthroughplay
Dr. Brita is a board certified pediatric physical therapist and founder of Progress Through Play in Denver, Colorado who's been my go-to account everything to do with baby milestones since J was a newborn. I’ve learned so much from her, including the way his tongue tie likely impacted some of his development. She provides an incredible amount of education to mothers in the online space with the compassionate perspective of a mother whose child’s tongue ties impacted her postpartum journey. Her education on early intervention helped me speak up for J when he was a tiny baby.
#8 - Tiffany Belanger - @cosleepy
Tiffany is a safe cosleeping educator an amazing resource for bed sharing families (like mine). Although she reminds us that bed sharing can never be 100% safe, she provides expert guidance on everything from testing the mattress to blanket usage. I found Tiffany’s account when I decided to start bed sharing at 5-months postpartum, and I’ve continue to check in for support throughout the toddler years. I recommend that all parents (even those who don’t plan on bed sharing) take note of her lessons because most new parents end up bed sharing at some point in their parenting journey (even if it’s by mistake). It’s so much more than the “Safe Seven”!
#9 - Lisa McCarty - @lbmccarty717
Lisa is a writer & women’s health advocate who is passionate about providing a safe and supportive space to inspire and help to inform women over age 30 on infertility, maternal health, breast health and mental health. She’s also candid about her own struggles with infertility and draws on her powerful story to make a real difference for women who are struggling with infertility. I am continually struck by her ability to share the hardest parts of her experiences with struggling to conceive and birth trauma. This includes the reality that its impact doesn’t stop after childbirth. Her recent HuffPost article tells her story and urges women everywhere to trust their intuition, know their body and discuss risks with their medical providers.
#10 Rachael Shepard-Ohta, @heysleepybaby
Rachael is a laid black attachment-based sleep educator who says “no” to sleep training & many other aspects of the dominant narrative around parenting & childcare in the United States. She favors attachment-focused approaches like baby wearing and contact napping. She also shares her daily grind as a mom of three in San Francisco. Rachael’s account is one of the first I followed when my son started having sleep issues, and I learned a lot about the way temperament impacts sleep from her. She helped me to feel normal when my highly sensitive child couldn’t handle even the slowest sleep training approach. Something I appreciate about her is that she’s honest about trying sleep training with her first child, which is something many parents do before finding out that there’s another way (myself included!). I’m really loving her new podcast, No One Told Us, as well.
The Power in Knowing that You’re Not Alone in Motherhood is Strong
Learning how to care for yourself while you mother your child is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do, and it can feel lonely. Especially when you are parenting in a way that bucks the dominant social narrative around motherhood.
I am incredibly grateful for the support that each of these women offered me during my pregnancy, in early postpartum, and now while I’m a toddler mom. Their stories, knowledge, and the resources they offer moms have made all the difference for me, and I hope they will for you, too.
It’s hard for me to imagine motherhood without this group. I hope you will feel inspired by their service to moms, just like I am.
And remember - I’m on Instagram as @nurturingthesisterhood. The community of moms at Nurturing the Sisterhood is pretty incredible, and it’s the place I share mental health tips, tricks, and resources that are just for moms who want to honor the reality that motherhood is not always what we expected. It’s harder. If you’re looking for individualized support, please click HERE! I’d love to connect with you.
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